“Starters for Supper”: The Danger of ‘The Appetizer’


                When you go out to eat at a restaurant one of the first things you are asked is if you would like to order an appetizer or a starter meal. The purpose of this is twofold (depending on the restaurant) 1. To tie you over while you are waiting for your meal to get ready, and 2. To fill you so you end up ordering a meal that you wanted, but now have no room for so you have to take it home and eat it. That’s why I think in some restaurants they should be called “spoilers” instead of starters. Now, if you have a sufficient appetite, you could nibble on an appetizer and when you feel yourself getting full, you would stop and make sure there was “room” for the main course. But in our society we have grown more and more impatient, and now there are restaurants that have a plate of appetizers that serve as meals. I have had these before, and when I’m hungry enough, they’ll satiate my hunger, but never leave me feeling as satisfied as an actual entrée would.

                So is the same when it comes to relationships. I feel that in our journey to find the one who will complete us in the world, we come across “appetizer” relationships. They are meant to serve as a preparation for what is to come, perhaps a reminder that as good as this may be, it really isn’t what you want, and your main course will be so much better. But for some, the starter has become the main course.  Perhaps in fatigue, in desperation, or in fear that the main course will be a disappointment, people decide to just “order an appetizer” and leave at that.  And the appetizer may work for a while at ceasing hunger, but it will not fill you, because that is not what it is meant to do. But what is does do however, is “spoil” your desire for something more substantial. I know this because I was in a similar relationship for years. I met someone, and for a while, I felt like it was enough. I received a level of companionship, intimacy, even love. But it wasn’t filling; it was a tease that could not satisfy. But as a single woman, lonely, longing for companionship and-to be frank-growing weary of waiting for what my Creator and Father had for me settled for what I had at the moment. I settled because it “fed” me, and for a while that was enough, but I wanted something more, something that this relationship no longer could provide. But I had been there so long I thought it was all that was available for me that was all that was in store.  I thought that I had “spoiled” things and wasted my opportunity for something better. But I know now that is not true. I know there is something for me; I just have to be patient. Perhaps the reason why it has not come to me yet it because it is so special that it needs special time for preparation. Maybe I need to wait until I know what it is I want, but patience is the key.  Even now, in the midst of waiting for what I know is there for me, it is tempting to return to what I know is there. But I want more. So I say to any bloggers reading this post in the same situation, the “hot wings” or “potato skins” may look and smell appetizing, and you may think you have a taste for them, but if you are a little more patient, the Master Chef has a main course that will blow you away.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ashlyn
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 03:26:07

    I think this is a perfect analogy, and a great way to get people to think. The last sentence wraps everything up perfectly, and I wish more people would just have faith in what will be, will be. You are a fantastic writer and you should definitely post more often!


  2. essenseofebony
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 04:08:40

    Thanks Ashlyin, finishing my EdS didn’t leave me a lot of time to write, but I hope to update the blog more often.


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