“I don’t accept your apology”: An open ended letter to my friends with children.

It seems like almost every mom blogger has a post that apologizes to her friends without children for something. Be it a messy house when they come over, conversations interrupted with reminders to put that down or explaining you can’t ride the dog in the house, not being able to go out at night and last, or for being a bad friend because when your child free friend called to invite you on an impromptu girls weekend out of town, you bailed out because you couldn’t get a sitter on short notice. You explain to us you still love us and miss us and promise that you will try and do better, and beg and implore us to hang in there with you. Well, as a child free friend, consider your apology not accepted. I am not accepting it because I am a hateful, bitter hag who hates you, I am not accepting it because you have nothing to apologize for. Why are you asking for forgiveness for something you’re supposed to do, take care of your family?
       We have been in your corner since day 1, we stood by you on your wedding day, helped plan your baby shower, and shed tears at your baby dedication. We’ve bought toys and clothes and come to birthday parties looked at baby photos. We love you and your children. We understand they are a part of your life now, and one that takes up a lot of time if you do it correctly. It’s not the end of the world to me if you miss my night out in the city “just because”, but if you missed your baby’s first steps or first words because you were at Macaroni Grill enjoying a martini it would break your heart. And I know how much you love me, I see it in the FB posts you like (because you don’t have time to comment chasing little ones) or those texts out of the blue I get during the kids nap times (I especially appreciate those, because you should be getting some rest then too, and instead you’re talking to me). Or when you visit me for a girls pamper day at our favorite nail place (normally a baby sitter is “date night” material, not a trip to get a pedicure). And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt when I marry, you will be by my side, and when I have my own little ones to look after, I can come to you for advise and help when I am overwhelmed.
     So, stop apologizing for being a mother. Those babies will be with you 18-25 years, I’m here for life. I’ll wait, heck, I got the better gas mileage, I’m on my way over. I’ll help with changing and feeding when I get there.


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